Hypnostress
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Healthy anger and true forgiveness enhance personal power and increase the capacity for love.
Punishing the wicked
A few years ago, I felt betrayed, angry and bitter. I re-lived those times a 1000 times in my mind. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. My work started to suffer, my relationship with my children suffered. I got so depressed, that I just couldn’t function on a normal day to day basis. I plotted my revenge. If only that person could feel a fraction of the pain he caused me and my children, I would feel better. I had it all planned down to the tiniest detail. I even had someone lined up to break his knee-caps. (grin) I guess I got so caught up in it all, that I just didn’t think rationally. Believe me, no matter what anybody told me, I was set on my revenge.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free ..."
But then from somewhere a little voice kept on popping up in my head. No matter how I tried to squash it, it refused to go away. Must be that irritating conscience thing! Somehow what ever we do, like a bad penny it always comes back, full circle. My grandmother used to say, steel R5 and you’ll loose R500. As if speaking directly to me one night, our Pastor preached about forgiveness. Yah, right! Forgive someone who has ripped your heart out and made your soul bleed? Never! But the seed was planted! But how do you do it? I realized that revenge and the whole stress and depression scenario was like a vise-grip. Like in a time warp, I was stuck in the pain and hurt, never moving forward, unable to go back. It was steeling my life. I was allowing it to rent space in my head. I was actually hurting myself. The other person had moved on, unaware or uncaring of my sleepless nights. I gave my control away, to him, free of charge! Gratis! Verniet!
“...only to discover the prisoner is you!”
Then about three months later, I was still wrestling with the forgiveness demon, when during Holy Communion, the Pastor said we can’t use communion if we have a grudge in our hearts. So this was it, I thought! I had no choice, I had to forgive him. I realized that in forgiving, not only the other person, but myself as well, I was set free! I was set free from the past, and able to move on towards the future. Forgiving him, didn’t mean he got a “get out of jail free” stamp. He must still deal with his own demons. But it did mean I was free to move on to something better. You can’t move towards the future, If you keep holding on to the past. By really forgiving, and not just going through the motions, is liberating. Try it! Its free!
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me, and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you and I will bring you back from your captivity…” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NKJV)
A few years ago, I felt betrayed, angry and bitter. I re-lived those times a 1000 times in my mind. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep. My work started to suffer, my relationship with my children suffered. I got so depressed, that I just couldn’t function on a normal day to day basis. I plotted my revenge. If only that person could feel a fraction of the pain he caused me and my children, I would feel better. I had it all planned down to the tiniest detail. I even had someone lined up to break his knee-caps. (grin) I guess I got so caught up in it all, that I just didn’t think rationally. Believe me, no matter what anybody told me, I was set on my revenge.
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free ..."
But then from somewhere a little voice kept on popping up in my head. No matter how I tried to squash it, it refused to go away. Must be that irritating conscience thing! Somehow what ever we do, like a bad penny it always comes back, full circle. My grandmother used to say, steel R5 and you’ll loose R500. As if speaking directly to me one night, our Pastor preached about forgiveness. Yah, right! Forgive someone who has ripped your heart out and made your soul bleed? Never! But the seed was planted! But how do you do it? I realized that revenge and the whole stress and depression scenario was like a vise-grip. Like in a time warp, I was stuck in the pain and hurt, never moving forward, unable to go back. It was steeling my life. I was allowing it to rent space in my head. I was actually hurting myself. The other person had moved on, unaware or uncaring of my sleepless nights. I gave my control away, to him, free of charge! Gratis! Verniet!
“...only to discover the prisoner is you!”
Then about three months later, I was still wrestling with the forgiveness demon, when during Holy Communion, the Pastor said we can’t use communion if we have a grudge in our hearts. So this was it, I thought! I had no choice, I had to forgive him. I realized that in forgiving, not only the other person, but myself as well, I was set free! I was set free from the past, and able to move on towards the future. Forgiving him, didn’t mean he got a “get out of jail free” stamp. He must still deal with his own demons. But it did mean I was free to move on to something better. You can’t move towards the future, If you keep holding on to the past. By really forgiving, and not just going through the motions, is liberating. Try it! Its free!
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me, and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart. I will be found by you and I will bring you back from your captivity…” (Jeremiah 29:11-14 NKJV)
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